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I feel it, in my bones and in my blood. I look at my hands- new hands- the same hands that I have always had. My father's hands. And I look at the same scars curling and criss crossing across my palm and wrist and up my arms, stockier arms and heavily muscled. The same scars on my chest, the same hair on my flat chest. Something feels different though, I can feel it not just in the way I react but the way Stephanie stirs beside me like something is different.

I scowl, letting out a soft hn noise before sliding back down into the covers and wrap my arms around her. I press my nose against her neck, rubbing my half day stubble against her chin. I'm messy, shaving is the one thing that Alfred insisted I always do. A gentleman Master Cassander, Alfred would say, always shaved. And I do, shave, but it still took Alfred two stitches to realise not to come near me with a blade to the throat, Babs had learnt that one quicker than him. I miss them, maybe that was what this was. Longing.

"Hnnn," I mutter, listening to my deep voice as I brush my lips against Steph's neck. Home. Happiness. Love. Stephanie. Alive. My favourite words. "Steph."

I say it the same way I always do, stretch my hands up against her ribs like I normally do in a gentle teasing tickle. "Steph wake up something is... up."

I hate leaving her that pun, at least she won't comment on it. Hn, I hope she doesn't.

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Steph makes a grumbly sound of protest but still starts to wake up, eyes closed as she starts a stretch. It all feels normal until her brain registers the too-broad shoulders at her back, the too-long legs her toes curl against, and the stubble all of which shouts holy shit stranger danger.

There is no conscious thought before Steph lashes out to nerve strike Mr. Creeper and scrambles out of the bed. And promptly goes sprawling because when she trips on a balled-up shirt on the floor. "Fuck the fuckity mother- shit.

He feels the way Steph tenses up, brow furrowing in confusion as she moves to nervestrike him. Capturing her fingers easily, he looked at her with a blank confused look before he let go of her hand. Watching her scramble out of bed in a flying panic, Cass yawned and moved to sit up not commenting on the way Steph fell out of bed.

"Hn, you're getting sloppy. And you're still telegraphing your moves," Cass replied, leaning over bed to offer his girlfriend a hand. She was looking at him oddly, like she didn't recognise him. She was also swearing a lot. "Hnn... why are you panicking? Did you have a nightmare?"

Or was it the clothes he had left on the floor again.

She twists around and is about to spring on him again, when she...

Steph stops. The amused expression, the cadence in his deep man voice, the scars. She gawps at him.

"Cass?"

"Yes?" Cass replied. His lips parted thoughtfully, letting out a soft hn noise as he considered the expression on his girlfriend's face. She was looking at him oddly, like she was surprised or maybe even confused. Grumbling a little bit he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and reached out to take her hand. To press his fingertips to her wrist like he always did to make sure she was okay, that she was alive. "Are you okay?"

He could feel her pulse beneath his fingertips like always, he looked relieved before he looked up at her.

"Uh...I don't know if you've noticed," she says while he takes her hand. His hands are so much bigger than Cass' should be, but the callouses are all in just the same place. "I don't know if you've noticed, but you're kind of a guy right now."

Her eyes drop to his naked junk. Yup, definitely all man. Wow, first time she's seen a penis in a while, kind of weird.

His lips twitched into a smile, just a small one at the corner of his mouth as he looked up bemused at Steph. Brushing his thumb against her pulse at her wrist, Cass nodded lightly.

"Yes? I'm always kind of a guy right now," Cass replied slowly, wondering what Steph was trying to say and why she kept looking at him like that. Looking at Steph concerned, he reached out to touch Steph's waist but loose in case she tried to nerve strike him again. Emphasis on try. He needed to work on that with her. "You know I'm a guy. I've always been one. Do you think I'm hn... not? A guy?"

"Uh...yeah, usually." She gets to her feet at his touch and leans to examine his face. It's Cass, but also not. She reaches a hand to trace along his cheekbone gently and then over his facial hair. Cass with facial hair.

"You don't remember being my BGFF?" Steph suddenly looks suspicious. "Do you think I am normally a guy too?"

Cass pressed his lips together, looking thoughtful at Steph's comment and assurances that usually he was a girl. It wouldn't have mattered if he was, either way his life would have been almost the same. His father wanted someone to train, it wouldn't have mattered if he were a boy or a girl. He wouldn't have been any easier on him just because he was a girl.

"Hnnn," Cass murmured thoughtfully, leaning in to Steph's touch at his cheek. "Best Guy Friend Forever? And no, you're normally a woman. You're Batgirl, you were Batgirl after me."

"That part is the same, at least." She pushes her fingers through his short hair then sits down on his knee, because he's seriously taller than her now too. It's weird, but it's not bad, exactly, now that she's not worried about a strange man in her bed. Just a familiar girl in a shiny new man body. "Except shouldn't you have been BatGuy? BatBoy? Man-Bat- nope, wait, already got one of those."

Cass reached out, hands sliding over Steph's waist in his usual reverence. Calloused fingertips brushing against skin as he tugged her closer on his lap and held her steady. Always there to catch her fall if she needed it but only if. He trusted her to save herself.

"Barbara gave it me, helped train me after my father. There was no other name I wanted, I wanted to make her proud." Cass replied simply with a light shrug, his hands slipping around Steph's back. He wanted Batman, part of him did but he knew he would never be as good as that. He would never be that perfect. "I liked Batgirl, it was who I was."

She lets him tug her closer so that her knees are on either side of his thighs. His touch is Cass' even if the body doesn't match. It's not bad, just weird. The fact that he remembers a whole set of different memories is definitely the most screwed-up part.

"Did your suit have fake boobs in it?" Her hand drops to one of his very muscled pecs and skims over the chest hair.

His fingertips dipped low, pressing against the base of her spine before he moved his hands up and across bare skin. His thumb rubbing slow, soothing circles as his larger hands spread across Steph's back and moved upwards. Reassuring her without words that he was still the same Cass even if she wasn't sure.

"No, did yours?" Cass replied, his tone entirely seriously. His lips pulled tight into a thin, unamused line though his eyes suggested that he was, in fact, teasing Steph. "Do you think the island did something again?"

Steph raises an eyebrow at him and straightens so her chest is pressed out. "These aren't enough for you? You think I need padding?"

The teasing makes her really truly relax against him. It's Cass, who cares about the body. And Steph trusts her completely. "I think it must have? I don't know whose version is right. Way better than amnesia or nightmares brought to life though."

Cass watched her, finding her far more beautiful in the way her posture shifts and changes. The lines of muscle that move with her as she straightens, her breasts pressing out. Cass ducked his head, to watch her body listening to it before he slid one hand from her back and around her side. Fingertips teasing beneath her ribs and tracing slowly up before stopping shy of her breasts.

"I love you," Cass replied simply, though he allowed one fingertip to move a little, brushing against her breast ever so slightly. Wouldn't have mattered to him if she was blue and polka dotted, she was Stephanie and his best friend and girlfriend and she was alive and he loved her. "I don't think you need to be anything but you."

Cassander nodded, whatever the truth was. His version or hers, they were still together and that was what mattered. "Or killer toys. Or death in a bottle. Or a lot of things. You're still here, that's all that matters. Hn, and training."

"Mmmm, good answer, mister. His big hands are different from Cass' normal ones, and she likes the way they span around her ribcage. Also the little touch to the boobs, that is nice too.

Steph tips his chin so they're looking each other in the eyes. "I love you too. Always." That's the important part, and now she leans to press a light kiss to his mouth. "Even when you're suddenly man sized."

"I had a good teacher, she talks a lot." Cass replied with a small genuine smile. And perhaps a little sassy. She had taught him that at least even if late night television had taught her some other things like patootie.

He is ready for the kiss, he catches it with his mouth and ghosts his tongue, quick and sudden and very ninja-like against her mouth. Brushing his stubbled chin against her cheek, he pressed a kiss to her jaw and then throat to show the way he felt in simple, light touches. Ones without too much intent, just showing Steph that he loved her the best way he knew how. Without words and with them.

"Hnn, what do you think I am like? If I were not suddenly man sized?" Cassander asked, tracing his finger along the curve of her breast before drawing it up between the both. There, her heart. He pressed two fingers over her heart, before dragging his thumb over her breast to touch where her heart was.

She tips her head back to accommodate his kiss to her neck, smiling all the while. This reminds her of the awful morning when Cass woke up without her memory, except it is 100% better in every way. Her hands rest on his broad shoulders before smoothing her hands over the muscles there.

"You're still you, just...girl shaped. About my height, but less curvy, more badass tiny ninja build." Steph smiles at him though her heart speeds up as he touches her. "You're beautiful."

Cassander moved his mouth, brushing the rough stubble against her throat before moving up her neck and sucking lightly just beneath her ear. He kept it light and quick, listening to Steph's body and the way she tipped her head back and the way she touched his shoulders.

Making a more pleased hn noise at the way her hands brushed across his muscles, he shifted and encouraged her closer on his lap.

"And now?" Cass asked, stretching his hand across the swell of his breast as he traced a smooth circle with his scarred thumb across where her heart lay.

"Hmmmmm." It's tempting to just let him go on kissing her, because his mouth on her neck feels amazing, but after a moment she pulls back a little. Which doesn't mean she's not still arching up to his hands as she gathers her face in her hands and puts on a show of inspecting him. Cass is so handsome like this, a stop in the street and watch him go by kind of handsome, and he's smiling at her like she's the best thing in the world. "Still beautiful," Steph tells him with a smile and catches him in a deeper kiss as she wraps her arms around him.

He straightened his posture, sitting more precisely as he lifted his jaw and let Steph inspect him. Like she was reading a book, like she was listening to his body like he would with her. He turned his head pressing a kiss to the palm capturing his face before leaning into her.

He doesn't respond with words, he responds with a smile and parts his lips as she kisses him back. With one arm wrapped around her, he palmed the other hand across her breast and beneath. Leaning backwards, Cass tugged Steph down on top of him as he lay back on the bed before stretching up to kiss her.

She lets him pull her down and laughs cheerily before kissing him enthusiastically. "Oh, this is what we're doing, huh?" As though she doesn't know perfectly well what they're going to get up to. Cass has a penis! That's something Steph simply must explore.

Steph rests her knees on either side of his hips and her long hair is tumbled everywhere between them. "It's been a long time since I slept with a guy," she says and kisses along his stubbly jaw before going up to his neck. "Hope I haven't lost my touch."

Cass raised his eyebrows, looking up at Steph with a quiet look of mischief before smiling more openly when she laughs. Leaning up he curled his hands around her breast, thumb brushing down against her nipple as he listened to Steph's voice and the laughter in it.

Reaching up with his free hand to touch her hair, he curled one finger around a long strand before stretching up to kiss her. Muscles shifting and tensing beneath her as he parted her lips with a hint of tongue before kissing her deeply. He brushed her hair back behind her ear, out of her face so he could look at her. She was wonderful, she was everything.

Cass tugged her down with him, murmuring that he loved her against her lips and tracing it on her skin.

She leans down with him and hisses with pleasure when her bare chest brushes over his then does it again with a roll of her shoulders. Cass is so much bigger like this, taller, broader, buffer, and Steph can't resist stroking her hands over every inch of skin she can reach.

"Love you too," she murmurs and drags her mouth along his jaw to kiss wet sucking marks down his neck. Stubble, adam's apple, different, and Steph makes an appreciative node before biting his skin lightly.

He moved his hand, quick and sudden as Steph leaned forward, her breasts pressing against his bare chest. Wrapping both arms around her, his hands traced down her back and slipped down over her ass. His fingertips exploring every familiar inch of her skin as she concentrated on exploring his own, supposedly new, one.

The bite made him moan, quiet and pleased, as his hips rocked forward to brush against her. He ignored his hard cock, ignoring what his body wanted for now to listen to what Steph wanted. He wanted to show her, as always how much he wanted and loved her without words. How every touch made him feel happy and secure with her.

Sliding one hand along her side, he traced old scars before pressing his hand between them. Thumbnail brushing against her nipple before he cupped her breast in one large hand.

Maybe he tries to ignore his perky man bits, but Steph does nothing of the kind. She deliberately rolls her hips and rubs against him and grins teasingly at Cass. When she does it again Steph has to swallow down a moan as she can feel herself getting wet against him through the thin material of her boxer shorts. Oh God, this has all gone from mostly funny to mostly sexy really fast.

Steph goes back up and licks her way into his mouth. "Don't try to distract me." She's breathless and arching to his touch. "I want to explore your shiny new man body."

He could feel his cock lengthen and harden as Steph rolled her hips against him, he knew what his body wanted but he ignored its current desire. Trying to ignore the way her thin, wet panties brushing against his bare cock, or the way she looked until he could do nothing but groan, pressing his hips up against her. Wanting more friction between them but wanting to please her, make her know how much he cared first.

Hand flattening against her breast, he dragged his thumb up over her nipple smiling a little against her lips as she spoke.

"I'm distracting?" Cass asked, flicking his tongue against her bottom lip almost kissing her before pulling his head back a little. A little game of tag between them.

"You are the most distracting," she says with a laugh before chasing after his mouth and catching his lower lip in a little bite. Then she pulls back to sit up and look at him sprawled there on the bed. Handsome and beautiful and hers. Maybe it's easy to get a little complacent, a little too used to having Cass always there, supportive and reassuring and scary gorgeous. Waking up to this is a reminder.

Her hips keep moving against him, slow and deliberate. Steph seizes up his hands and raise them both to her breasts as she looks down at him. Her grin is bright but she's got bedroom eyes. "And what do you like me to do to you?"

Cassander followed her lead, sliding both palms across her breasts and cupping them in his hands. The warm, familiar weight made him smile as his thumbs brushed over nipples and he took a breath as he looked up to the beautiful sight of his girlfriend before him.

Her hips rock down against him, brushing against his cock as he met the slow, deliberate teasing action of her hips. He pressed his finger and thumb together, pinching her nipple teasingly with a small smile as he lifted his hips up to press against her.

"Everything," Cass replied reverently. He loved her, everything they did together was perfect even when it wasn't. "I love everything."

Steph laughs and tosses her hair out of her eyes while they rock together. The friction felt good and when he lifted his hips up it just right the place. With a little pleased sound she lets her fingers drift up over his chest then his jaw to rest against his lips. "Then let's do everything."

He smiled against her fingers before nipping at them, pressing blunt teeth against her fingertips before kissing them better with a lick of his tongue. Tensing his stomach, he sat up quickly and smoothly, one hand sliding across the warmth of her breast before sliding behind her. Touching her back, he tugged her closer and leaned in to kiss her now that they were at the same height.

"Love you," Cass murmured against her lips, brushing his stubbly chin against hers before he kissed her soft and slow. "Hn, you are far too dressed."

He let his hand slide down her back, finger catching the back of her underwear before he pulled them back and let go, letting them slap her ass with a teasing smile.

Laughing, she leans back against him and wiggles her hips against his. "I am hardly dressed at all, you realize." But she does pull them down enough to be able to kick off. "Onto the floor with all the other laundry," Steph declares as she winds an arm around his neck and pulls Cass in for a kiss. "Better?"

"More dressed than me," Cass replied, his hands sliding down against her hips and tightening when she wiggled against him. It was harder to think, to concentrate when she did things like that and he found it hard to not falter with her name on his lips. Brushing a kiss to her lips, he smiled against her soft smile and glanced over her shoulder. "I tided most of it away."

He grins as he kisses her, sliding his hands over her ass and down her thighs before pulling her more firmly onto his lap. He likes this, likes the way they feel together even if they are two bodies and he loves the way she feels against him. Strong and soft and warm and sweet.

"Much better," Cass replied between kisses.

Without realizing it, Steph gives a hungry moan when their hips rock together skin to skin. Her hands slide up his chest to rest on his shoulders as she moves against him and clenches like Cass is already inside her. Then she moans again because, oh God, Cass inside her. It's not as though they haven't fucked before, the island gave her all kinds of fun sex toys, but this is different.

She laughs a little and nuzzles his neck. 'You know, we have all day, we can slow down." Her hand snakes down to curl around his cock. "Oh man, after this we should totally have sex with you holding me against the wall."

He leaned up, brushing his slightly stubbly chin against her cheek when she moaned. He listened to her, the way she sounded when he shifted like that and he moved his hips again to make her sound like that. He watched the way she moved, body tensing as if she were tightening around him. Brushing his lips against her cheek, he nuzzled her skin and smiled when she laughed.

"I don't mind slow or quick, as long as it is with you." Cass replied simply, his fingertips tightening as her hand sneaked down between them and curled around his cock. His body twitched, involuntarily, in her hand and he let out a pleased little noise at that. Gruff and low with pleasure. "Okay, we can do that. Against the wall or against a shower wall?"

She gave a breathless little laugh as she coaxed that sound out of him. More of that, please. "How about both? Oh, man, we are going to have fun." Her mouth went to lick up his neck before murmuring against his ear. "Do you want me to suck you off now or later? Because I want to get all up in that BJ action."

Dirty talk, something she wants to be good at, but she can never quite pull off.

"I still have to train," Cass replied, trying to keep his voice stern but there was a warmth in his voice. Something relaxed that hadn't been there before. He was still Cassander, he was still Black Bat but he allowed himself to relax more than he had before even if he still trained just as hard. He could have this with her and he could still do his duty, he could still be redeemed and that meant everything. "But we can do this too."

He puncuated his words with a casual roll of his hips, the head of his cock pressing against her and between her legs. He inhaled at the familiar warmth, wet and wanting against him and he had to keep his control in check. Especially at her words.

"Hn, was that dirty talk?" Cass asked, leaning forward and biting her bottom lip soft and sweet. "You can if you want but I want to return the favour?"

"You're damn right it was dirty talk," Steph says then groans, loud, at the press of him right up against her. Oh, God, it feels good and she wants more. The urge to thrust down until he's inside her is so, so tempting, but she forces herself to pull back off him with a disappointed sound, which makes her laugh. "Sorry, buddy, I'm not having babies. Not even yours." Which is weird to think about it, so Steph just curls her hand around Cass' cock and kisses him.

"You've got to wrap it up first." Shit, would regular girl Cass even have condoms here? they'll deal with that next. For now she grinned at him and kissed down his body with a clear destination in mind. "Tell me what you want."

Cass looked at Steph confused for a moment by her comment. His brow furrowed, he brushed his hand through her hair pushing it back off her face before realisation slowly dawned.

"Hn, there are condoms in the spare room." Cass replied simply. Terry had been a boy after all even if, at least to Steph, Cassander wasn't. Leaning back on his elbows, he tenderly brushed his hands through Steph's hair and watched her as she moved down his body, slowly eliciting excited little shivers from her kisses. "I want hn... you to turn around so I can return the favour. I want to lick you, kiss you... please?"

Even if she's not very good at it herself, hearing Cass talk dirty more or less immediately reduces her to a wet quivery mess. Especially when it's in his new rumbly man voice. She has to rest her head against his hip as she shudders and has to resist reaching down between her legs to ease the heat flaring up in her.

"God, I love you," Steph says breathlessly as she clambers around on the bed until her knees are on either side of his head; this position always makes her feel exposed, but sexy instead of self-conscious. She reaches for his cock and wetly kisses the top, then knowing that this is Cass hits her all over again. Oh God, she is sucking on Cass' dick right now The idea makes her shudder and unconsciously roll her hips.

Cassander smiled, open and honest as he watched Steph scramble about in bed inelegantly. Inelegant but beautiful, the long line of muscle and softness of her curves. The swell of her breasts, the marks and lines and hurts marking her and telling a story. He loved her, every inch of her and he was only too happy to tell her that.

"You are ridiculous and beautiful, I love you." Cass said, sliding his hands up her legs from knee to thigh. His hands, larger and rougher, curled around the back of her legs before he pulled her back to him. He liked being on top normally, lying between her legs whilst he looked down at her and the way she reacted to his touch and kisses but this was good. This was elegant.

Leaning forward his stubbled chin brushed against her skin, he pressed a soft kiss to her clit before rolling a quick tongue against her. He inhaled, hands tightening on her thighs as she licked the tip of his cock and rolled her hips like that. He murmured his approval, nose butting against her as he slowly rolled his tongue down.

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